I believe there comes a point in most people's lives where they realize they've gotten a little sidetracked in life. Well, I think I'm at that point. Don't get me wrong, this "realization" is a good thing. Now comes the question, how do I get back to where I want to be?
Who knows, maybe this is just some winter depression. But I work at a tanning salon, I have plenty of Vitamin D in this system, probably more than I need actually.
Or maybe it's just something new for my wondering brain to think about, trying to figure out the "meaning of life" like everyone else.
I had originally wanted to start this blog months ago when I first thought about it. But being a full-time college student, working a job and being the president of a sorority, things don't always go as planned I guess. I think I see the problem of where I was able to get sidetracked.
I'm not trying to make excuses for myself. I know with the right time management and so forth, one should be able to properly balance everything and blah, blah, blah. Whatever. I'm not perfect. I'll be the first to admit that. Moving on...
Yes, life is a journey, with its ups and downs. I know this. Yes, life is about sacrifices. I understand this and have made plenty myself for others, more than I needed to probably. Hence, my current state of being.
It's not that I'm not a nice person. I try very hard to make people around me happy because I would like to be known as the nice person. Who wouldn't want to be?
However, there comes a point where enough is enough. That and my patience runs out, which unfortunately, I was not born with an abundance of.
Now comes the point where I realize I've been somewhat screwed over. They say you reap what you sow and there's also Karma. But I feel that I've been waiting and waiting and still nothing seems to go my way. Maybe I did something wrong in a past life for this to be happening, if that stuff even truly exists. Or maybe I'm just not being patient enough. Like I said, I wasn't blessed with enough of it.
This brings me to my final point, I'm a senior in college, only eight more classes to go. I should be extremely excited, right? How come I don't feel this way?
I'm a constant worrier. I blame my mother for this gene and the impatience gene from my father. It's a great combo let me tell you, it's not.
All I see after graduation is a blank. It's scary beyond relief. Now I know I'm not the only one to ever feel this way. Plenty of college students go through this phase. Or could I just be a 21-year-old experiencing a mid-life crisis? I hope not because this emptiness sucks and I don't have the kind of money to go buy a sports car or take a vacation, to anywhere for that matter, to help cheer myself up. It's not that I'm afraid of change either, I welcome it. I'm an Aquarius for those of you that are into Astrology.
So, what's my problem? As much as I would love advice from others, I guess this is something really only I can figure out.
Luckily, I recently had a friend of mine that's also a fellow co-worker give me a much needed pick-me up speech. She reminded me of everything that I've accomplished, which when forgotten about can easily be taken for granted. Let's see, I've made it to college, became president of my sorority, received my school's Student Life's Top 10 Award and Outstanding Greek President (yes it's okay to be a bit arrogant when it's in a time of need). I'm kind, a hard worker and dependable. In addition, I survived a stroke at the tender age of 19 (that's another story in itself).
So yes, I am blessed to be alive and to wake up everyday. I guess I can say that Karma hasn't been too bad to me so far. I got my second chance in life very young and I will, if it's the last thing I do, make the most of my life. I will not sit back and watch it pass me by before it's too late. Keep your eye on the prize as they say.
There's always tomorrow, and you just might be surprised at what it will bring. Best of luck to you, and me. I'm sure we'll be just fine.
